till this day i knew all

Dont doubt me, be about me baby..

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 17:59:56 GMT

This whole month of november has gone by so fast i think.
its funny how things turn out at the end.
ive had al this time to like have for myself and i like it.
its time like this when you learn who your true friends are soemtimes.
you get put thru all this shit and at the end whos there go fix it?
JUST YOU!
thats it.
its up to yourself to move on and live your life.
you can just wait on something thats uncertain.
lifes way tooo short.
love what you got or what you still have as id like to say.
i just gotta change my flow up!
thats all.

*she got that dirt off my shoulders quick!

Ive never seen her like this before?

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 22:53:56 GMT

No BULLSHIT....

u might see me on the side of the road
keep driving
you may see me jumping into the road
keep driving
im just tryna find the end of the road
ok i think im gonna have to send her a note
along with a rose
and that rose will be black
and that note attached shall read
"im gone"
"honey im gone"
"i'd rafter be with god before i be alone"
so from heaven i sing this song
o yea "p.s. honey im home"
and the angels even look and smell like you
but there's no angel or gal like you
man i fucked up

*yeah right there under hell....

how does it do that!?

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 02:48:36 GMT

its been crazy.real crazy.
im really surprised how things end up goin the way you least expect it to end up.
but its not like i dont want it this way.i would be lying if i said i didnt.
its jus weird how things happend.i wish it didnt have to come to all this.
whatever doesnt kill us makes us stronger eh?
id hope so.
but once again im not going to do that to myself again.
ive noticed if i dont get my hopes up i wont get hurt...as much.
i trust her.i do.
but ground has been lost,yet possible to regain.
i jus hope this wont be a repeat of the same shit.
im tired of bullshit.i really am.
especially when its that person.that one FUCKIN PERSON!
but hey, time will tell.
jus dont run out the clock.
thats all i ask.

you can love me or hate me.
i swear it wont make me or breke me.
***te amo jack jack

"All i wanna do is take your $$"

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 03:44:28 GMT

jeeze im tired.
im tired of alot of things.
im tired of lying and getting lied to.
life is a big surprise.
sometimes its good or bad.sometimes its both.
slowly but surely its closing up.
i tried for nothing.ive wasted time.
and it sucks.
but its kool.ill keep it going.just like ive done before.
next time itll be different.
its a bit easier now that shes not talking to me.its her choice.
now i kno how it is.No words needed.its all there.
things are different now.Thanks to you.

**You forgot about the house, you forgot about the ring, I remember
everything, I just wanna hear you sing, I remember the love right
after the fight, you cant tell me you dont remember those nights,
and If I would cry, you would cry twice to me you are the brightest
star under the sunlight, see take away my title, take away stripes,
you give me back my girl and you give me back life...give me back
my girl and you give me back life, see this is just a nightmare so I
blink twice, open up my eyes hopin she be in my sights, I remember
I wish I could bring it back, what she mean to me is what I mean to
rap **
.....and im out.

A is for ashley....

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 02:12:44 GMT

Well the A is for Ashley
she always ask for me to take it out her pussy
put it right in her ass and the...
**Whats the J for?**

last week was interesting.
yeah i havent been on this shit for like a week now.
basically we al kno what ended up happening.
shit finally hit the fan, but hey its kool ..i guess.
yeah its hard and yeah it sucks.
but thats life.The people you trust the most end up fuckin you.
i learned alot.No matter who you are or what you are to me,im never letting my heart out like that again.I jus hate that it she had to be the one to make me realize that.Trust someone with all you got you get fucked.end of story.
i still want to be her friend and im going to be there for her.
shes still an awesome person.Well see how it goes.things might turn around completely.
but im not gonna wait for that.even thougth i would love that.

ChiN up Boi!
DOnt let them see you cry.

I Wouldn't Care If You Were A ProstitutE and
That You Hit Every Man That You Ever Knew
See It Wouldnt Make A Difference
If That Was Way Before Me And You Girl
See You Dont Ever Have To Worry About Me
As Long As You Keep It Real
Whatevers On Yo Mind
Speak On How You Feel
Stay Truthful to me
And Never Lie To Me
And Dont Ever Keep No Secrets
No Matter Wutever Uh Uh..
Girl You Kno Wut I Mean Yea
Well If Ya Dont Then Ill Explain

You Can Be My Misses Wayne
We Can Do The Dam Thang..And Thangs
You See I Had To Tell My Nigga Lil Boy
I Met A Girl Like You
Cuz I Aint Never Met Another Girl Like You
But I Know Wut To Do Wit A Girl Like You
Three letters...I Do

Thru hell and back and Thru hell again...

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 13:47:40 GMT

Im crushed!!
I hate when i kno something is going on and im right.
i cant believe my dreams are like glimpses in the future.
basically i got cheated on by my bestfriend.My one true person that i thought would never do that to me.times are sure changing.
Ive never felt this bad about something like this before.its totally new.
ive been hurt but not like this.
after she told me what she did, we spent all friday jus talking about it.
I couldnt belive my ears.i still cant believe it.
Last nite i ended up goin over there and talking to her again.She basically needs to decide between me and her roommate which really sucks b/c favor seems to be for him, atleast thats what it looks like to me.
So now im just sitting here,Praying for her,hoping this is not the end.
I wish i never did those things i did along time ago.I always wanted her in my life and i always knew that one day i will want her to be mine.I guess i waited too long.
After all this i forgive her,i guess i must be crazy.
This girl has shown me something that girls cant do.
Shes an amazing person with an amazing character.When i needed her she was there and when i didnt she was there anyways.Shes my everything.Shes been my everything.
Shes worth it all, Shes worth the wait and idc who thinks otherwise.
I Love you Joy powers.

*And now Im waiting for my ruca <3*

Have you heard the kind of shit that I've said?

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 14:37:28 GMT

After school i didnt do much but go home and chill.
i read some of that book,layed around,did nothing.which is ok.i dont expect to do alot on a thursday nite.
Last nite did suck btw though.i had another fucked up dream.i had a dream that i basically got dumped and forgotten about.i mean everyone has dreams like that sometimes.But im thinking about my last dream i had and how that turned out to be kinda true in a sense.WHICH SUCKED!!!
So i hope this one doesnt come true.I even woke up like three times and fell back asleep and had it again.that creeps me out.i hate when i wake up and think that the dream is true.it took me about 30 minutes to realize that it didnt happen.
i hate that i think alot,im always in that trance of thought.i jus hate that even in my sleep and in my dreams my head is still going.
Its friday.it feels great outside.its not super hott.its starting to feel like fall kinda.
I hope today is filled with relief.i need relief.

*Its amazing what ull find when you just open your eyes*

I wanted to be that breathe of fresh air

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 19:25:59 GMT

ehh this week has been different.only word that can describe it.
last nite after skool i ended up chillan with bryan.went to publix and watched the sopranos till i went home.Roche called me saying that girls gone wild was at scoops last nite.sounded interesting.
i started reading my fourth and last volume of this book ive been reading.ive read it before like a year ago,but never finished.its about this kid in florida and how his lifes all fucked up bc he tried to save this girl.long story.but its interesting.
I woke up this morning and my dad ended up driving me to metro and got my fone replaced for free.
my new fone i bought had like a defective mouthpiece and you couldnt hear me.now thats all fixed.
got dropped at stake and shake and chilled with joy for a few hours till she had to go to work.
i dont want to go to skool today but fuck it,its thursday.
i never know what i end up doing after skool, its been different everday this week.but either way i end up drinking and shit.which is kinda funny.
things are still ehh? i guess.Well just to wait and see how it ends up.but i wont be surprised if it ends in me burning.something im familiar with....

*I keep the glock by the penis...*
-what he say?

I rather not see her off alone

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 16:13:51 GMT

Shit is fucked up.well i think it is atleast.
things havent changed for the worst or better.it jus stays the same and i think thats worse.
yesterday was ok i guess.class was easy ,turned in this paper early.
after class i ended up getting trashed at this guys house with some friends.
btw he was kinda gay..ok very gay but whatever its kool.it was funny,he was telling all these fucked up stories and shit about when he was in highschool and stuff.
idk. i ended up drinking to much to where i got to the point where i couldnt walk and i had all these thoughts in my head.things i shouldnt be thinking about but you cant help it, your drunk.
got home,and got locked out for a while.i swear i hate my dad sometimes.
now im keyless,big deal.
as for today i got class at three and ill prob get out at like five because my english class is cancelld so YAY for that.
I really do need a job,im sick and tired of just sitting here and staring at nothing.
i rahter be making money.
i wish i didnt do alot of the things i do and did.i have so many regrets i cant fit them all in my head.i jus want to me reassured of a few things without being told.thats all.

*But you had better things to do,liar....*

O we can Roll with it...

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 14:39:51 GMT

yeah i deff had a case of the mondays.
idk very strange day actually.
joy came over.as usual.well not really as usual.she doesnt come over as much as she used to but hey its kool.shes not a 18yr old that goes to valencia and stays at home anymore.
skool was alright.i didnt go on wednesday so i didnt kno wat was going on.but i caught on.
after school i went over to ryans for a while and played skate;which is the only thing that nigga does now.but hey i dont blame him the games awesome,but i didnt expect him to like play that shit 24/7.
Bryan is like the only normal one left if you think about it.which reminds me i didnt go with him last nite.if my day couldnt get any wierder,my friend "buddy" picked me up for this party.let me remind you i call him buddy bc i still dont know his real name.that kid can party !
i ended up blowing chunks,which is something i dont do usually.i ended up doin that all the way home.got in the house at like 2am.PASSED THE FUCK OUT.
Now im writing this shit with a huge headache!chris wants to go skate blehh!!idk if i can do this.

** I jus need time to adjust**

Expect the Worst ,but hope for the best

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:56:34 GMT

ehh Sunday nite was ok.
hung out with bryan and chase and all them.Got RETARDED
that was basically my whole sunday actually,i did nothing but chill.
its monday now.god i hate mondays.
all i know im doing today is school at four.which btw i need to type up a paper for this class.
but other than that idk wtf im doin.she called me last nite at like five in the morning.no biggie.
im guessing she fell back asleep bc she hasnt called me yet.bryan has off today,so if all else fails i can always chill with him.
im surprised that alot of things are changing.at first i thought it was like, bad change but not all of it is.i just need to deal with it.accept it.
never grow up kids!

*I hope i dont have a case of the mondays*

OO NO jonah black !

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 15:59:17 GMT

bleh...sundays are kinda like saturdays.
the only difference is that sunday is like a reminder that the next day is monday,everyone hates mondays,well i do.
last nite was alright.
once again, she came over.we chilled, watched tv;the usual stuff ;).
walked her to the bus stop,which btw she i just remembered she forgot her keys hahahaha
she didnt call me last nite for them but i know she knows she forgot them.i wonder how she got in?
after that chilled with ryan and bryan at bryans house.Played lots of xbox.
i havent slept all nite , maybe for like..three hours lol.
as for today idk.prob jus going to go to bryans or something and do whatever.til joys calls,whenever thatll be?

*my posie hoff <3*

everyday i kno more and more

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 15:13:15 GMT

saturday mornings are one of the only mornings that everyone in this house is actualy here.
my brothers gettin ready for UHS homecoming;hes goin with his gf that goes to UHS because he failed,lil douche.
Yesterday was kool.hung out with jack jack all day!which isnt something new but its deffinetly different,but a good different.we droppd her off and chilled a lil more till we were all jus dead tired.actually ended up at walmart at like 1130 buying a ether wire for ryans xbox360.
which reminds me i should go to his house right now!
its my cousins birthday today,he turns 7.happy birthday christopher.
joys at work.whats new.<3

**Dont you want her Badly?**

this is like my friday nite...

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 02:33:11 GMT

yeah i kno.its thursday.
but it feels like a friday lol
i got outta class at like 625 ,fuckin early!
me and izzy go to taco bell...which btw is a shithole!they dont kno how to fuckin give me what i want!
all i fuckin wanted was a cheesy melt thing, ONLY CHEESE and i mustve said the word cheese like five times in a seven word sentence.
after that chilled all nite.
accidently hit bryan in the eye!..sorry bryan!
and ryans is the owner of a brand new xbox360.fuck yeah!
tonite is good for everyone!

tomorrow should be nice.<3
hopefully..

jesus christ..

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 18:25:44 GMT

its been seriously too long.
i havent been on this thing in ages, i almost forgot it existed and its purpose.
its been like a year and a half since the last time i wrote in this.
i deff forgot the password to that other one i made.im jus gonna start over on this one.
life has deff changed as i predicted.i mean life always changes,thats life whether you like it or not.im not sure who is like able to read this still and i dont really care.i jus wanna write.
things now..are deff different.a friend has become more than a friend and i love that!
still have most of my friends around;bryan,ryan,all them niggas haha.
attending Valencia just like most of you are doing.
im at a point in life where im not sure i have control of whats going on.i feel like i cant do anything and i jus have to let whoevers driving do there thing.i hope he knows where im going.
it took alot for me to realize what i really needed and wanted when it came to being in a relationship.i told myself and others i wanted to be singler, but thats never what i really wanted.i didnt kno what i wanted honestly.but things are deff different, and i hate it took me this long and i kno she hates it too.i jus hope that things work out the way i always thought it would with me and her.i want her to be my everything and the same for her.i want us to be as happy as we wanted to be since forever, with no interuptions.but ofcourse you cant have your cake and eat it.idk, wel see how things go.I jus dont want to end up the way i did four years ago.idk what ill do...seriously

**sometimes i think i should pretend not to care, but thats dumb**

hey new lj!!

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 23:50:44 GMT

this is the last time i use this lj..ne ways..today was good really good.tomrrow firstday..gonna start it with a good chill.
new lj:whiterabbitsays.......*dont ask

Gabby Santana is back!!

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 02:01:03 GMT

yes its true..hes back.one of my best friends has moved back into his old house.although hes back hes not goin to go to uhs...but hey its ok.as long as hes back.today consisted of pool and skating with gabby.soo tomorrow ill probably chill with him again...and tommy..whoever idc.oo and tomorrows oreintation..yeah ill go to that too...

its like a nothing kind of feelin??

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 02:04:28 GMT

today was just...blah! idk i woke up at like ten.ate.no one was home but my bro and me thats it.everyones either at work or still sleepin or just simply...not there.i chilled with bryan bc he didnt have work soo we played halo and such.bored as hell.basically all i did was go to bryans then back to my house.yeah idk what im doin tomorrow..hopefully somethin

the nite that just keeps on giving

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 14:39:48 GMT

last nite was one of the best nites of my life! no lie.like usually i have good days that are yeah good but not the best.last nite totally set the bar.great fuckin day!every minute of it was great.the show was great.the people were great.it was just overall awesome.school starts in a week.yeah it sucks but o well.last year soo i dont care....
*girls are funny when they talk like there smart...when their really not*

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 01:25:51 GMT

today was fun..
went to an old neighbors barbQ thing and swam around his awesome pool.there movin to south carolina.idk why but they are.ate some and talk and had a good time.
got home and chilled with my bro *daddys shit*.then went to bryans and did the same and played halo 2.(an di totally kiled them if i may add!)as for tomorrow what am i doing...idk..oo im probably gonna help a friend get his ticket for fear before.yeah and after that idk...
P.S. joy doesnt come back till next week...damn!!

it gets better and better....

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 02:50:05 GMT

alright soo today started off kinda boring but it ended out to be pretty cool..
...i did nothing all mornin bc there was nothing to do with no one.so me and my bro waited for my mom and dad to get back from whatever they were doing for the day.we found his shit and well..we had a party with it!its truly the best ive had..no lie!soo we took some to a friends house and did some and then we went home and took a nap and ate and then went out again and did some with bryan and we played halo 2 and then i came home and got money..for no reason.so yeah soo far so good.
as for tomorrow i have no idea i might go to a nieghbors barbq or to this show at this church for free.or something else idk.
*2 more days till fear before....*

this last week....

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 03:18:29 GMT

damn this weekend looks intersting..i might go to this lil get together with my old neighbors bc there leavin florida for south carolina.soo there inviting us over..its on saturday.sunday idk exactly what im doin..and saturday afternoon bryan wants me to go with him to the mall to see some friends for him or something??idk.oo and monday ofcousre! fear before.it should be amazing!but shit man after that this last week..no plans.joy goes to south carolina for the weekend.she leaves tomorrow and comes back sunday...

...on the side just chillan..but other than that...

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 23:30:07 GMT

yeah today was nuts man!we chilled in lake mary and played lots of halos....then we are ride got fucked up so we had to call a tow truck and then use another car to chill some more.it was nuts! new experience.i have never been in a car that breaks down on the highway..yeah...well fear before is comin and im officiall goin and my lil brother too! yeah its his first time.hell enjoy this one.soo thats about it...bye

yeah i fucked up...

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 01:35:47 GMT

yeah got caught..fuck!!.o well i got grounede for a day and the next day i was back in action.i got caught like last week.and now im fine..i just have to get fix myself before i go home ..no prob.nothing i cant handle.this school year is gonna be different.like usually i kinda have an idea about how things would go..like who youre gonna chill with the most and shit like that.idk this is my last and should be the most interesting year of high school..well see.
*fear before the march of flames:7_days...

satisfaction never looked soo good.

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 02:57:00 GMT

this weekend was good..went to the beach..had a killer time..no lie.today i chilled with the originals ..yeah you know who you are lol.but ne ways..nice weekend comin up.if i dont go to key west or wherever theyre going ill stay here and have the house to myself...fun times, fun times.fear before is coming and ofcourse..il be there....with my good friend jane!